Last week, the Once Upon a Time episode was Rumple-centric. This week, there was no Rumple at all. To get last week, the episode before it and the one after had Rumple as credit only. That kind of takes the shine of such an episode.

I half wrote this post while I was watching the episode. Just notes scribbled on my phone because I wasn’t sure I would have time otherwise. Fair warning, there’s no much ‘deep’ insight this week – lot more snark.

Seriously my main comment when the episode was finished was – “No Rumple again!” Which after last weeks cliffhanger, felt like a real letdown. It was akin to the two back-to-back episodes during 5A, where the first one revealed Hook was a dark one and the second was all about Merida and none of the main cast was even in it. Actually I think Zelena was in it, but she’s not exactly “one of the gang”.

So I suppose this episode wasn’t as bad as that. At least the main cast were all present, it was just after last weeks cliffhanger I expected (alright hoped) to see Rumple doing something. About the only really good about this episode was the ending – there was another cliffhanger and it was an interesting one.

On to the snark …

Giving writers a bad name
Seriously I’m a writer so you’d think I’d love the author plotline? It’s a bit like having a plot about a writer. However, I absolutely hate it! Why? These aren’t supposed to be characters within the show, they are supposed to be real people, for all they are fairytale characters.

However, having an author and that author able to “write stories” even if they are only supposed to record them – it’s like people don’t have free will. I hate that, it somehow makes their struggles less legitimate. Are they really good or evil? Or are they just what the author dictated? Are their decisions their own? Who can tell?

I wish the author plotline didn’t exist, for the most part I try and ignore it. It’s a bit like putting your fingers in your ears. If I can’t hear you, it’s not real. “That book is the embodiment of hope.” only sort of made sense when it told Henry what he needed to know, so that he would believe in the curse and find Emma so it was broken. Now? It’s just a damn mess.

Henry is being illogical, which I suppose is actually very logical because he’s a teenager. Really, take away the magic and this is a typical teenage rebellion. He kept Cruella’s offer to himself, he didn’t tell them about the pen etc. I wondered why at first, I didn’t understand why he didn’t trust his family. Then I realised – teenager.

I thought to myself – “surely Henry has to understand he’s a kid and doesn’t know best.” – but then what do teenagers think? That they know best. He’s a typical teenager and being in a hurry to grow up. That’s why he wants to be a hero – he’s surrounded by ‘giants’ of the fairytale world. They are big name characters and no wonder he feels like a nobody.

However, while I can excuse Henry’s irresponsible behaviour. I seriously can’t excuse everyone else’s. They are in the freaking underworld!!! Shouldn’t they be watching Henry at all times, given that they foolishly brought him with them? Why do they let Henry go to Granny’s alone in the underworld? It’s not regular Granny’s, the witch that eats erm – children – runs it!

Which really does bring up a question. What are they eating/drinking down there? Is it a good idea to eat stuff in the freaking underworld?

“Don’t argue with your mother or your mother.” was a good line from Regina but then Henry muttered afterwards “Last time you leave me behind” and I confess I snorted and wondered to myself “what he’s going to do something so stupid they stop doing it?” and then I realised that they would never be that responsible.

“I have all this power and ignore it. I’m in everyone’s shadow.” was telling but seriously – How can Henry write a story he doesn’t know?

I really hate the author plotline.

Hades knocked the handsome out of me.
Emma fought the darkness for six weeks and gave in out of love. Hook lasted one second before giving in for revenge. Is that because at his core he’s actually quite weak? He mocked Rumple for that – “a man who doesn’t fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets” or whatever the line was.

However, he was weak before he became Hook:
– “I wanted to be this perfect example – a lot of pressure. Raised the bar so high, I could never live up to it.”
– “I can never be the brother you deserve.” – but Liam didn’t abandon him. That’s true love of the brotherly kind right there.

He was weak after he became Hook:
– “I won’t squander the second chance you have given me.” – He didn’t until his brother died and then he didn’t have the willpower to keep on the straight path any longer. Without Liam there to support him, he gave into his darker nature.
– Liam is so right. Emma turned him into a dark one against Hook’s wishes, he could have died a hero. He begged her not to because he knew he couldn’t fight the darkness and that is the key point – he couldn’t fight the darkness. Rumple fought the darkness for a couple of hundred years – longest lived dark one ever! Hook couldn’t fight it for a day.

Even Liam’s “unfinished business” and the dark thing he did was to save Hook. They would have died in the storm, along with everyone else, without Hades deal. True Liam also got to fulfill his dreams, the dreams he’d given up taking care of Hook. That was like a nice side benefit. I know Liam was supposed to be the bad guy in this but really he came out much better than Hook.

The only way to make amends is to pay the price. Liam accepted paying it, he accepted the consequences and the responsibility and then got his reward.

Hook didn’t accept anything. He said at the end – “Everything Liam did was to ensure I had a future and I damn well intend to have one.” – and that totally ignores what Liam tried to teach him. Again taking the easy out, and not doing the right thing.

With Liam Hook was thinking along the right lines. He was thinking that he should move on and not be saved. That is right because (and I repeat) why should he be saved? I’m not saying that because he’s bad but because even heroes aren’t special and shouldn’t get special treatment. Why he should get another chance at life and not others? He should just move on and have his reward like everyone else. That would be the right thing to do.

Did someone throw a party and not invite me?
“He kissed you. Thought it was you.” – seriously I said this at the time, they are true love and Snow should have known.

Where is Robin? Seriously it is so obvious he isn’t there. I mean at least Rumple has the excuse of being a lone wolf but Robin? It’s just like there’s no screen time for you so we don’t want to pay you. It makes me unsurprised that there are rumours he’s quitting. Why would he stay? It’s the same with all of them who are under-utilised.

Regina – “forgiving yourself is the hardest thing.” – and my heart broke all over again.

“One hell of a reunion” – I really hope they do meet. Plus Charming kissing Cruella – revenge for Snow kissing James?

Plot hole with that kinda – Snow snuck out and gave the key to Henry. Where did she go then? While the others were searching the mansion and getting kidnapped, what were Snow and David doing? Fighting over him kissing Cruella? Seriously they just disappeared.

Hades is similar to Rumple with his deals and desperate souls, offering people what they want the most, for a price they don’t expect. I wonder if that similarity is going to mean anything down the road.

Then the cliffhanger – Oh my god it’s Zelena. What has she got to do with Hades and why is he hiding it? How could he possibly have a weakness involving a mortal?

Seriously Rumple please come back and make good on the cliffhanger – “you work for me now” – I need him to do something smart, he’s supposed to be a calculating planner – and he needs to fix this.

The next episode airs tonight, I’ll watch it on wednesday. At least Rumple is in this one, I saw he was in a sneak peak, although I didn’t watch it, I never do because I don’t like that level of spoilers.