The NaNo Report: Day Seventeen

I had some trouble getting going but as was the case yesterday, once I started it was fine. Well… depends on your definition of fine. I’m 99% sure I will have to toss everything I wrote. I’m not happy with the scenes at all. I keep telling myself that it’s a starting point and that it gives me something to work with. Doesn’t stop it from being a bit disheartening though.

Yesterday I worked out the rest of the outline and I hope tomorrow I will finish Episode Two. I have absolutely nothing planned for Episode Three so future!Me is going to have fun /not. I do like the artifact I came up with for them to hunt for this time, it ties into a cool historical mystery but not one I had heard before. So I hope that will be interesting for people to read – if I ever get to the point of being able to share that is.

Currently a little less than 200 behind NaNo pace, so closing the gap there. Hopefully I can keep it up!

Words today: 2,582
Current total: 28,165

The NaNo Report: Day Sixteen

I’m cold. Now that’s not a complaint exactly. The horrifically hot summers (like 40c last year!) mean I can’t bring myself to mind the cold, instead I am grateful. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am cold. The way the temperature fluctuates it’s hard to know what to set my heating at (I have to guess the day before and it ‘charges’ at night for the following day). Night before last I didn’t have it on at all as it was warm enough without it. Last night it was on and it was clearly not on enough.

Anyway I went to mums for around 90 minutes this morning as I could not focus to get started. It was 5-6 degrees warmer there. I got around 1.1k and reached the end of what outline I had for episode two. I came home for lunch and then really did not want to shift out from the blanket. I did so and I managed to conjure the rest of the outline so episode two is now planned. I also wrote more. I guess while I couldn’t get started when I was cold, continuing was easier even though it was no warmer.

On my planner I write the starting total and what I have left and the “left” number is now smaller than the “have”! Whoo! So I am now about 1.1k behind NaNo pace. It’s a deficit I haven’t yet been able to shift but hopefully soon or at least by day thirty lol.

Words today: 2,624
Current total: 25,583

The NaNo Report: Day Fifteen

The half way mark.

Am I halfway? Not quite.

It’s Wednesday which is chore day. Having to go grocery shopping historically makes me functionally useless the rest of the day. It’s why I made it chore day (I used to clean on Sundays). So Wednesday is the designated ‘do nothing’ day in terms of the productive things I usually try and do but it’s NaNo and I am already behind.

I managed some words between lunch and when a plumber was supposed to visit to quote (they still aren’t here /sigh). Not par but better than zero. I don’t like the scene I just finished. I know why I wrote it (found family vibes) but it isn’t executed well. I think I maybe need to move it earlier or later so there’s some plot work going on too.

Anyway hopefully I will hit the halfway mark tomorrow.

Words today: 848
Current total: 22,959

The NaNo Report: Day Fourteen

Yesterday in a reply to a comment – and thank you guys for putting up with these daily rambles ❤️ – I said that NaNo was a journey. Yesterday in the post I said that I thought the rewards were a little pointless as they weren’t making me dig deep and go for it when I wouldn’t otherwise. That if I could make myself write I did, and if I couldn’t then it didn’t happen and the reward was immaterial to that. So I then figured what is the point of the reward?

And then it hit me (and I am struggling to articulate this so I hope it makes sense) but everything in life we either do, or don’t do. Like I hate showering but I still do it because it’s important not to smell. So much of life is a struggle and writing is definitely a struggle a lot of the time. I do have to fight the “why bother just give up” monster every day. Now I fight it because I want to tell the story, I dream that one day I will feel confident enough to share it with others.

But that ‘reward’ of having a story to share is a million miles down the road and a crapton more work away. Yeah I’m not writing to earn the video game I mentioned. But actually what is the harm in giving myself a sort of ‘gold star’ type thing? Like yes you are showing up, you are trying. I know you wish you were trying harder but is there any level of suffering that would be enough for you? Will you ever think you tried hard enough? No probably not. So why not just pretend for a second, that I reached a milestone, that I can say I deserve something shiny for the effort. That’s what it is. Maybe the problem is I don’t feel it inside? That I’m shrugging off the idea I could deserve it like I do any kind of positivity as just not being true.

Anyway sorry that was quite a digression and not really about today. I’m still feeling my way through Episode Two of this sequel. It’s going to need so much revision but that’s what I get for not planning properly I guess. I’m still about 1.2k behind NaNo pace but I have been like 20k behind one year, so I am not worried yet.

Words today: 1,985
Current total: 22,111

tinknevertalks asked:

6 and 19 please and thank you. 🙂

6) what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

The best part is generally the people I talk to online are so much nicer than the people I meet IRL. We have whatever the shared interest is as base, and we don’t really have to go beyond that so it doesn’t have to get awkward. We’re not constrained to a certain time or day. We can hold conversations with gaps over hours or days as messages go back and forth.

On a semi-regular basis I have googled wishing there was a writing group, or definitely an art group, locally I could attend to get some feedback (and give obviously, I am not just a taker). But whenever I have found something that sort of fits the bill it is always an epic disappointment. I suppose I don’t fit. I don’t know how to interact with them and I feel all wrong and so I don’t like going.

Now don’t get me wrong I have felt like that sometimes online. I have felt like I’m always the outsider, that I’m not really wanted or welcome. I know I probably try too hard. But the distance of online and the ability to only interact when spoons allow helps. I have never really found “my tribe” that people talk about. I do ache for something more, I want to share more of my projects and have someone care, but we’re all just tired aren’t we? Wishing for enthusiasm from other people is like wishing for a unicorn I think.

Which brings me to the worst part of creating online, which I suppose I have sort of gone into already – invisibility. It’s lonely if you aren’t doing the current popular thing, or if you don’t have a bestie. Screaming into the void is just normal but that doesn’t make it any easier.

19) favourite thing about the day?

The electric lights don’t have to be on and hurt my eyes? Haha. Honestly it’s weird because I have trained myself really to become a morning person (I was up at 5:30am today) but I’m not generally a huge fan of the day because other people are around. The night is safer with less chance of being bothered (although I am afraid of the dark).

Anyway in all seriousness I am going to go with the fact that in the daytime is when I get to see/speak to my mum. She’s my person. We communicate in some form almost every day, even if is just sending those animated sticker things on messenger. I know I really should have grown out of it by now, but she still does have the ability to make the world seem a bit brighter.

The NaNo Report: Day Thirteen

So today didn’t go at all how I wanted. Yesterday I had the thought that I would catch up to par, hopefully get to around 22k. I woke up with a headache which sucked but I intended to soldier on anyway – and then I checked the news. The government apparently has plans to overhaul disability and it scares me. Intellectually I know it’s ridiculous because it’s at least a couple of years out from happening but I got all upset anyway.

Eventually mum calmed me down and about 3pm I tried to write something. I decided to aim for the 20k I didn’t quite manage yesterday, so slipping further behind again :/ still any words were better than no words I guess.

I think 30k on the 17th is unlikely now. I told mum about the rewards idea, and how I had picked a game that was on 80% sale (which ends on the 17th). She told me to get it anyway as I am likely to hit 30k before the end of the month. The only reason there is no flexibility on reward timing is the sale. So I may do that. Having built it up to be such a thing in my mind of “have to have 30k by the 17th” it now feels like cheating. However I suppose if I had picked any other kind of reward that it wouldn’t have mattered when I hit it during the month. I’m not sure I should really do the whole reward thing anyway. It doesn’t seem to be motivating me to really push. I either write or I don’t, reward immaterial, so it’s really just getting myself a gift that to be honest I don’t really deserve.

Words today: 825
Current total: 20,126

sarcasticsciencefictionwriter asked:

3, 17, and 38 please!

Awesome thank you ❤️

3) 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Oh man. Asking the chronic rewatcher this question, is like asking me which hand I like more. How to choose just three?

Ok weirdly as it should not be my thing at all I have to go with The Princess Diaries. I still have no idea why but I attached to it as a child (so odd as really not my thing) and it was my go to comfort watch for years. I have seen it so many times I can quote almost all of it and yup I will watch it again.


Next I am going to say The Mummy. It was a movie I was afraid to watch for years as I thought it was horror. It’s an absolute delight. A real masterpiece and not scary at all.


And finally… ooof. Ok well I am tempted to say Fools Game as that was also a comfort watch for many years. I am a sucker for a good historical treasure hunt. I really like Ocean’s 8 as you can’t beat heist wives and a clever con. The Lego Movie is a good watch, although weirdly I almost prefer the second one. I listen to the soundtrack regularly. I’m kinda leaning towards Raya and the Last Dragon but hesitating as that’s kinda new so hasn’t stood the test of time yet.


38) favourite song at the moment?

I just answered this! Post below 🙂

electricrogue asked:

18 and 38 for the ask thing please?

18) do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

Ghosts no, not really. I mean I read a lot of fantasy and I can see the idea of unfinished business, or some kind of emotional imprint on a place, lingering spirit etc. But I can’t say I believe in it. I guess I am open to the possibility – in theory – but probably not in reality. If I went somewhere people thought was haunted I would probably be one of those annoying people looking for the scientific explanation.

Aliens yes. I definitely do believe in aliens. I just find it highly unlikely that with the universe being as vast as it is, that we are the only planet with intelligent life. I am sure there has to be some kind of aliens out there. Side note I find the term “aliens” to be a bit functionally useless because all it really means is “not from here”. It’s sort of an ‘othering’ word and I hope like hell if we ever encountered an ‘alien’ we’d come up with a nicer term. But I digress. Whether if we encountered an ‘alien’ we would recognise it, that I don’t know. I don’t expect there’s little green men, or Star Trek type humanoids. The ‘alien’ life is probably beyond our imagination but who knows! I am certain there is life out there but only time will tell what form it takes.

38) favourite song at the moment?

Oh. Well I decided to make Maroon Five my writing artist of choice for this NaNo serial project. It just felt like it had the right vibe. Apart from that I confess I have been listening to Citizen Soldier which is probably not a good idea as that’s fairly depression-fuelled. I feel seen, same as when I listen to some of the later Linkin Park albums.

I suppose if I had to pick a song then I would go for “Keeping Secrets” off the Strange New Worlds musical because the line “it doesn’t serve me anymore” hits every single time.

Thanks for the ask!! ❤️

ussjellyfish asked:

2! I love handwriting

Thanks for the ask ❤️

2) show us a picture of your handwriting?

I wanted it to be natural and not me trying to make it super posh/neat just for this ask so I took a photo of where I have been filling out a challenge in my reading journal. Some of it is done with a fountain pen, a lot with a dip pen so I can use all different colours of ink 🙂 well apart from the rainbow in the title which was fineliners.

I suppose it isn’t the real scrawl… ok go on then have a real scrawl. This is from my NaNo Planner.